Published: 2017 in Tales from the Canyons of the Damned: Omnibus No. 3
Genre: science fiction alien short story
Setting: the U.S. in the not-too-distant future
Summary: Robunthiquipalthinatchyyl Walters is an alien running for President of the United States. Since he was born in the United States (and has a FOI for the video of his birth to prove it), he is legally allowed to run, even if he isn’t a human. Obviously, Walters isn’t your typically candidate and he makes a couple of statements that seem likely to tank his bid to become President (like agreeing that a woman should have the right to an abortion and the right to kill any mate that doesn’t please her, or that health care is important because the human body is tastier when they are healthy). However, his supporters just explain away these faux pas and continue to maintain Walters is the best candidate for the job.
Final thoughts: At first I was wondering if the parallels to Donald Trump and his bid for President were intentional or not. When I got to the part about building a wall around the whole world and making the Zitorians trying to gain a foothold in this country pay for it, I knew it totally intentional. Swardstrom just took Trump and turned him to 11 to create his alien candidate. Personally, it takes a lot of imagination to make someone even crazier than Trump and still be believable, but Swarstrom manages it. For example, Walters actually eats his opponents who cause too many problems instead of just belittling them on Twitter. The description of how Walters can run for President when he isn’t even human was an interesting one. Overall, a story for the political times. I’m not sure it will age well, but it’s amusing for now.
Title comes from: It describes how Walters gained citizenship within the U.S., with alien referring to being from a different world, not just a different country.
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