Published: 2013 in Rayguns Over Texas
Genre: science fiction
Setting: a Call Center somewhere else in the galaxy, time period indeterminate
Interest: I was provided a copy of the anthology and I’m slowly reviewing all the stories in it.
Summary: Glornash is the supervisor in a Call Center crewed by a variety of species. She’s proud of her crew and the revenue they bring in to the company. She’s called in to Management for a performance review, which causes her much anxiety. Her review goes well, though, and she is invited to join Management, permanently.
Final thoughts: This story is a basic office story, with a veneer of aliens brushed over it. Glornash is always using generic terms for body parts like “optical stalks” and “pulmonary fluids” and “manipulator digits”. It’s almost like the author did the opposite of the Thing Explainer
book (I reviewed it in our last weekly wrap-up) and took the most common words out of the story. The reader gets to do the same puzzle over the words to figure out what the author is talking about. I guessed the big reveal at the end before it happened.
Title comes from: It’s the standard line from an infomercial. The setting was a call center for all kinds of “as seen on TV” items.
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